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All Things Relationship

Gottman Method Couples Therapy

Do you want to restore your relationship to its best moments? Regain that feeling of connection? Gottman Method Couple's Therapy is a science-based method to help you rapidly get your relationship back on track. Whether there is a crisis or you simply feel deeply stuck, the emphasis is upon creating prompt repairs for past and current hurts, developing effective and truly mutual compromises that last and deepening (or restoring) an intimate friendship. The science-based method of Gottman Therapy includes targeted assessments that enable the creation of a personalized treatment plan for your unique situation. Specialized modules are available when there has been infidelity or any other breach of trust, substance abuse, or when one or both partners suffer from a mental health condition. Heart-rate monitoring during the sessions allows timely breaks as needed to teach the skills of self- soothing and to keep communication constructive. Self-help homework assignments through apps and videos creates the opportunity to go faster and further in achieving your goals in between sessions. You may also choose to schedule larger blocks of time to do more intensive work if you wish. The goal of therapy is both a restoration of harmony and a demonstrated self-sufficiency in caring effectively for your own relationship. I am one of  only three certified Gottman's therapists in the state of Tennessee . I also have specialized training in the areas of substance abuse, trauma and infidelity. As a licensed psychologist, I use specialized psychological tests as needed to help get to the root causes of relationship issues and change the current destructive patterns of interactions to ones of safe and deep connection. 

Couples on the Brink

Are one or both of you truly undecided about whether to even try to work on the relationship? It is important in those situations that the partner who is "leaning out" not feel pressured to participate in couples counseling . Discernment Counseling is a special program created exactly for couples in this situation where they are on the edge of splitting up. In this program, there is no pressure to change, only to focus on your decision about what to do next. The session structure (up to a total of 5 sessions) is geared toward gathering the information you need to make this important decision.  Overall, thirty percent of couples who come to couple's therapy have a mixed agenda where one person is "leaning in" toward repairing the relationship while the other person is ambivalent about the relationship's future or even  "leaning out." Unless the couple can clarify this mixed agenda, traditional couple's therapy can be a waste of time and money. Discernment Counseling was invented for this situation and it can help couples get on the same page about whatever they decide to do next whether it is to fully commit to work on the relationship or to part ways respectfully.  Most importantly, if you can come out of it the program with both partners clearly dedicated to a significant couple's therapy program, then the chances for success can improve significantly. The program consists of up to five two hour sessions with each session including a brief meeting with the therapist together, and then a 45 minute individual session for each person with the therapist strictly focused on understanding the patterns of this relationship and focused on developing greater clarity about their decision. Upon completing their individual session, each partner will provide a brief summary of what they gleaned from it to their partner and then it will be their partner's turn to do the same individual session plus providing a summary to their partner. Finally, they will together receive a summary of the therapist's observations about their patterns. Because the program is not couple's therapy per se and is instead focused on the decision primarily through individual interaction, many "leaning out" partners find this approach more comfortable and are therefore open to it. Research shows that roughly half of Discernment Counseling clients will later move to couple's therapy and among those who opt for ending the relationship, greater harmony and cooperation is reported post break-up. Currently, I am only of two therapists in the State of Tennessee, listed as certified in this method. 

Hopeful Spouse/Partner Counseling

This also is a specialty program of up to five sessions focused on the common but difficult situation where one person is interested in help and the other is not and refuses to become involved in any program including the Discernment Counseling program. The emphasis here is upon maximizing your possibilities for change and to make re-initiation in a joint process of change more likely, remembering, of course, that it is always impossible to control another person. What can be done to make the possibility re-engagement more likely and at the same time develop a deeper understanding of what happened in the first place? That is the purpose of this program. An important resource for this work is Michelle Winer-Davis's book, The Divorce Remedy.

All programs are open to all couples regardless of marital status or sexual orientation. Couples dating each other or living together as well as LGBTQ+ are welcome. 

Breakout individual sessions are also available as part of couple's or family work (specialities available include accelerated recovery from breakups/divorce, using the latest in rapid trauma techniques such as EMDR, Brainspotting and hypnosis Singles support group also available. 

PRE-MARITAL EVALUATIONS- Two formats are available. One is for first time marriages without any complicating factors. This consists of a history taking interview, completion of the Prepare-Enrich Assessment and a feedback session on the test results. For second or beyond marriages, sessions follow a more individualized path based upon your situation. The traditional areas of repair, compromise and friendship are reviewed with an eye toward likely obstacles including compromises around finances and children (including adult children). Each situation is different and therefore, the goals are defined by you and your program is individualized.

Day and evening hours/weekend availabile. Remote sessions also available.

Specialized services available for Singles in dating, recovering from breakups as well individuals going through divorce.

 Executive and life coaching are available for peak performance and life adjustment in areas such as peak executive performance, pre-retirement planning, and entrepreneurship as well and more personal areas such as substance abuse recovery, ADHD, relationship building and divorce adjustment.   See my coaching page https://www.drjohncoaching.com for more information.

Career Coaching (one-on-one guidance for first career decisions or for changing directions)

My approaches include both traditional psychotherapy and more rapid techniques such as cognitive-behavioral therapy, and EMDR. I am certified in hypnosis by the American Society for Clinical Hypnosis (ASCH), a group that only trains licensed healthcare professionals. I am Certified in Gottman Method therapy from the Gottman Institute for working with couples, a technique based on extensive scientific research about couples. For coaching, I am credentialed by the International Coaching Federation at the level of Professional Certified Coach (PCC) and credentialed to provide the Hogan Assessment and the CCL-360.

You can schedule an appointment right now by calling 615-337-6975.